I got my M-1 back today and I started using it for mindfulness meditation tonight, based on some studies. Several of the people who I work with have had medical issues and the stress at work has been high, plus, I have stressful social things to go to and I found myself dreading them because my brain issues have caused me to be disconnected in some ways.
I used to attend workshops with relaxation and meditation and I have also used meditation, mindfulness and prayer as part of Christianity, but I have had a hard time shutting down my brain since I had the brain breakdown a few years ago.
This really helped shut the mental loop off. I had been reading that my ACC (anterior cingulate) might not be sending the calm down message to my prefrontal cortex.
I am trying it out. I was reading about it because someone asked if I had autism and I do not know, but I do get self-conscious and that can lead to social anxiety when I don’t know people.
Tonight is day 1. I positioned the coils on the sides of my prefrontal cortex area and did a TMS session.
The minute I closed my eyes, using this enabled my brain to rest, which hasn’t happened in a while.
I am going to an event with a group of mostly total strangers this weekend, so this will be a social anxiety test.
I have a young relative who is autistic and he hasn’t gone to school in a year and has so much social anxiety that I want to know if it helps me. His mother is planning on putting him on pot, but he is the age where it would damage his already damaged brain. I don’t know if this will be the answer for him, but it was fabulous for “mindfulness” training.
I had my first test of how it worked for mindfulness and for social anxiety today.
At work, I was left alone and had to be the one who dealt with customers coming in and socializing. (It is a family business and I used to be able to do that part of the job, but I haven’t been able to handle it for the past 6 years.) I have had such social anxiety and part of it came from the fact that I should have had even more social anxiety and have not wrecked quite so many of my relationships when my brain mysteriously exploded. Best to let everybody else do that part. And yet, as I have been pondering whether the explosion was a stroke and wanting to say, “Maybe I had whatever Dr. Hyman had, or something.” No matter what I had, avoiding the social problems has helped keep the business in business, but it hasn’t lent to brain plasticity in the social areas.
Plus, I have skipped lots of personal responsibilities, things like I was an executrix of an estate, which made sense when it was given to me as a responsibility, but people who are afraid of talking to insurance companies and banks and lawyers and who will put off the phone calls until the money is given to the State probably shouldn’t be in charge, but the other people who could have been in charge had things like kidney cancer, so there was nobody to throw the hot potato to. I know that I have to do the brain plasticity in these areas again, and the binaural beats, plus the M-1 already helped. Today went swimmingly. I had nice conversations and they were appropriate. I didn’t get so lost in the mental logic that I went on and on and I didn’t avoid looking at the person or any of the other behaviors which come with fear of doing it.
Stimulating the prefrontal cortex and visualizing telling it that the ACC was communicating to calm down and that everything is going to be alright helped. I have no real fear of the event, which I am going to this weekend and I will say that I have had fear of seeing people who I was so close to, so no fear is such a blessing. I only did the process once so far, but it genuinely helped.